Christopher G. Moore
ABOLITION OF FACE IN THAILAND
As a special report to you, though, I wanted to be the first to break the latest news. New legislation has been drafted and is ready to be sent to Parliament concerning ‘face.’
The proposed legislation to abolish the notion of ‘face’ will be announced before dissolution of the House and fresh elections. Penalties for anyone asserting, claiming, or suing for loss of face include five years imprisonment, confiscation of property, and fines up to Baht 10,000.00 (per offence).
Khun Chaiwong, chairman of the Face sub-committee has reported, that by removing ‘face’ from the social, economic, and political sphere, all of the problems of the past five years will be resolved. He says the deep division in Thai society all goes back to the concept of face. His face, your face, her face and on and on until someone’s face is smashed, lost, damaged, dented, makeup smeared and the like.
“It can get very ugly,” said Khun Chaiwong, glancing at his Rolex. The government whips have been reporting tentative support, though amendments to exclude elected MPs (government MPs that is) have been rumored.
"No face will ever be lost again"—the campaign slogan you will hear everywhere come May. The opposition is expected to reply with "the government that has stolen your children’s face doesn’t deserve your vote."*
*Happy April Fool's Day.